I regret staying in marriage

Dear Pastor,

My husband and I have been married for 20 years. We have two children in the marriage, and my husband has three children outside of the relationship. I knew about one before we got married, and I accepted that child, but my husband was always fooling around, and he impregnated two other women. He wanted us to have all the children under one roof. I told him that I would accept the child that I knew about before we got married but not the others. 

Now, a big problem has arisen. One of the children outside of the marriage is now pregnant, and the person who got her pregnant cannot be found. She does not know for sure who is responsible for her pregnancy. My husband has asked whether we can take her in to our house to live with us here. I told my husband not over my dead body. 

I told him that when he got these two other women pregnant, I should have walked away from him, and I regret not doing so. This man behaves as if he didn’t care. My husband thinks that I am very hard. He said the girl is his flesh and blood, so I should not expect him to let her stay in the cold. 

My husband has not been speaking to me since I have refused to let his pregnant daughter  live in our house. I told my husband that if this girl does not know who got her pregnant, it means that she was having sex with different guys. He said that doesn’t have to be true. I want to know how you feel about what I have said. 

I have worked very hard to live a very happy life, but at present, I am not happy because my husband has brought much unhappiness into my life. 

Please give me your advice. 

O.

Dear O.,

You are doing the correct thing. The position you have taken is correct. Your husband should not expect you to agree to allow his pregnant daughter to come and live in the same house with you. Why can’t she continue to live with her mother? I wonder if your husband is aware that if this girl should come and live at your house, you would be creating problems for yourself and your other children. 

If your husband believes that he is still responsible for his daughter, he should rent another house and put her to live there. You are queen of your own house.  Stand your ground. Let your husband make a different arrangement for his pregnant daughter. Don’t give in at all. Don’t let her come to live at your house. 

Pastor