Girlfriend pressuring me to get baptised

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and my girlfriend is 24. We have been living together for the past 16 months. When we met and she asked me my age, I told her that I was almost 30.

I didn't know that she would believe me, but she did and said that I looked younger. I told her that I was looking younger because I eat more vegetables than ground provisions and rice. She told me that she was planning to leave her parents' home and go on her own, and she would like me to come with her. We started to look for a place together. We found a two-room place. It was not convenient for a couple. The apartment was old, but the lady said that she could fix it up for us.

We helped the lady to paint it up. She charged us $15,000 per month. She told us that her husband died and that's all he had left for her, so she lives on the rent. My girlfriend and I are working, so we did not have any difficulty paying the rent. One day the landlady asked me how long we have been married. I told her we were not. She said her husband would turn over in his grave to know that she rented the place to a couple who is living in sin. From that day she encouraged us to get married, and she kept inviting us to church. My girlfriend went to church with her, but I had to work on that day. When I got home, my girlfriend told me that she walked forward and was planning to get baptised, and she was going back to the church the following Sunday. She refused to sleep with me on the same bed. When I touched her, she pushed me away and, instead, slept on the floor.

I am not ready to get married, so I told my girlfriend that I will go back to my home and she can stay at the house, just to see her reaction. She said that she would prefer to serve the Lord than to live in sin. She asked the landlady to talk to me, and she did. She asked me if I had seen another woman and I told her no. She said that if we don't get married, she would give us notice. My girlfriend got baptised, and now I am back living at my parents' home. I cannot sleep. This girl calls me two, three times every night saying she is lonely and she wants me to come home. But she also wants me to become a Christian. I know I am not ready to be a Christian, and I know I am not ready to get married, so please give me your advice.

A.M.

Dear A.M.,

No one should try to force you to become a Christian and to be baptised. Your landlady means well and she has tried to help your girlfriend and yourself.

The rent is cheap, but she is bringing some pressure on you by telling you that you cannot stay in her house unless you are married. Your girlfriend has added pressure on you by refusing to allow you to make love to her, although both of you are

living in common law.

You should have told this lady the truth from the time you met her. You lied about your age and I suppose that is a part of your problem now, because you think that you are too young to get married. I do not know how long your girlfriend can hold out without getting involved with another man. If you have not yet told her your correct age, you should do so now. Tell her you still love her, but you are giving yourself time to know what to do.

Pastor