Wicked babyfather doesn’t support his child

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 and I have two children - one by a married man and the other from a previous relationship.

I was 17 and a half when I got pregnant with my first child. I had a boyfriend but he was married, so I promised that I would not call his name. I had another guy who used to fool around me and my parents knew him. I had sex with him a couple of times and I told him that he got me pregnant and he believed me. But I secretly got money from the real father to prepare for the baby. He was glad to give me everything because he did not want anyone to know that he was the one who got me pregnant.

My parents were very disappointed in me. But my father said I am his child, and the young man who I told them got me pregnant had nowhere to put me. When the baby was born, I registered him in my maiden name. The married man didn't object. My son is the dead stamp of the married man. Even my mother recently asked me how come he resembles that man so much.

I got pregnant again, this time by a police officer. He is not supporting his child. I told him that I am going to report him to the commissioner, but he said he does not care. I found out that he has two other children with two different babymothers. I regret the day that I allowed this man to have sex with me. The only way I get money out of him is whenever I agree to go to bed with him. He wants to come to me without using protection. I am working, so any time I ask him for money for his child, he says that I am working, so I should use my money because his job is not paying much, and I should remember that he has two other children. He's a very rough guy.

One of my brothers spoke to him about supporting his child and he told my brother that he is not certain that the child is his. My brother told him that he can encourage me to do a DNA test and he said he does not believe in those things. So Pastor, I am asking you what to do. The father of my first child is not getting along with his wife and they are going for counselling. He said it is not helping and he may have to divorce her. If they get divorced, he said he would like for us to get back together in a serious way, and then he would support both children. I don't know how you see this matter, so I am hoping that you will respond to this letter.

E.A.

Dear E.A.,

Your first child's father was irresponsible, and you tricked your young boyfriend in getting him to believe that he was the child's father.

You deceived him. But it is said that what is in darkness will come to light. Your mother could see that that child doesn't resemble the young man you claimed impregnated you. The married man provided you with everything for the child. From the very beginning, he knew that he is the biological father.

You say that he is not getting along with his wife and he is contemplating a divorce. I think you believe that he will make you a good husband because you have had a child with a worthless police officer. I am not sure that complaining to the commissioner of police would help. I believe that you are to take this man to court for child support. You should not be afraid of him.

If the father of your first child gets a divorce, and would like to marry you, both of you should go for counselling. If the counsellor believes that this man is genuine, you may consider marrying him. That is all I wish to say at this time. Learn to speak the truth at all times.

Pastor