Girlfriend turned out to be gold-digger

Dear Pastor,

I am a 43-year-old man and I have two children. I was once married, but my wife died from cancer five years ago. I told myself that I would never marry again because she was a good and loyal wife. She was working and she never gave me trouble. She controlled everything for me. She was not ill for long.

I got involved with an older woman. She is very controlling. She likes to push me around. The thing that is bothering me is that she was a good friend to my former wife. I am a Christian and I found myself falling in love with her. To my surprise, she told me that soon after my wife died, she got a dream that we should become friends, and she was ready for me. She asked me if I had paid all the expenses for my wife's funeral and I told her yes, but I did not spend everything. She told me to bring the money to her so that we could put it in her account and both of us could have one account. I did so.

To my surprise, she made a will and she left everything for her son. I was not mentioned in her will. But I told myself I would not make a fuss over that. She did not know that I saw the will. It was left on her dresser, so I read it.

My wife and I bought a house together and this woman told me that she expected me to put her name on my title after my wife's name is taken off. I did not say anything. For a big woman, I found out that she was very greedy and wanted everything for herself and her son.

One Saturday night we were having sex and in the middle of our romance, she asked me when I was going to take my wife's name off the title and put hers. My penis went dead; I could not even continue. I realised that this woman only loved me for what I had.

I have two daughters who are unmarried. I have to think of them, Pastor. I have been backing away from this woman since I realised that she did not have true love for me. She reported me to one of the elders of her church. She told them that I was only pretending to be a Christian. I told the elder that I am not a perfect Christian, but neither is this woman. He told me to be careful. I have not gone back to her house, but she calls me often and invites me over for dinner or 'cookie'.

I have another female friend, but she is younger than I am. She does not give me any trouble. I am thinking that that might be the way to go. I am so disappointed in the older woman. I thought better of her. I told her that I wanted back the money I gave her. She said she was not returning it.

I can't let my children know that I gave her the money and that she put it into her account. My girls are living in Canada, but this house will go to them when I die. I would like to know how you feel about what I have written.

D.F.

Dear D.F.,

You say this woman is older than you, but you did not give her age. It is evident, however, that she would not have much to do with you if you did not have assets.

She is in a hurry to get her name on your house title. You were making love to this woman and in the midst of the act, she asked you when you were going to look about the title. That shows that she is not a wise woman.

I can't understand why she complained to the elder of the church. What was that about? Perhaps she was trying to bring pressure on you to hurry up and marry her.

Sir, you have done the right thing by walking away from her. Run as far as you can. You are now interested in a younger woman. Be careful what you do. Women are not running away. While some men are interested to get under the skirts of women, the women are after what the men have in their pockets or in the bank. So, be careful.

Pastor