Stopped being a playboy when I met my wife

Dear Pastor,

I am 35 years old and I used to run around. Some people would call me a girl's man. I used to bat heavily. Having sex two or three times in one night with different women was a regular thing for me to do.

But then I met this girl who was a medical student and we fell in love. She was not easy to conquer. She was brought up in her church and she invited me to attend. I was not a church man, but she caused me to think about my life and to turn it around. When I met her, two to three months passed by and I did not have sex.

Some of my old girlfriends tried to call me, but I blocked them. I found that I was saving money, because I was not running here and there with them and buying fast food for them. I was even supporting one of them, who has a child, and I love the little boy. But he is not my child. He used to call me daddy. I continue to give him some support, but I finally told the mother that I had a steady girlfriend and my life was not the same. She told me that I could not leave her because she had not been unfaithful to me. I promised my girlfriend that I would always tell her the truth.

It took us six months before we went to bed and by that time, she had checked me out thoroughly. She was convinced that I was honest with her. I am now a serious Christian and we are married. I don't lie to any woman any more. I am proud of my wife. I know I am not a saint, because sometimes I still think of what I used to do. Girls still call me and invite me out, but I do not go to any event without my darling wife.

People ask me how come I got this woman to marry me, and I told them that prayer did it. My mother prayed for me, and the Lord brought her into my life. Her father and I rap together as if we are in the same age group. He is a very educated man and he loves me as his son-in-law. My wife and I have bought a piece of land, but we are not ready to build. She is hoping to go abroad to further her studies. She is not leaving me in Jamaica. I will be going with her.

E.S.

Dear E.S.,

You are a changed man and meeting this woman has helped to change you. You realised soon after meeting her that you were in love. You were never in love before.

Lust took over your life. If you were having sex, sometimes three times for one day with different women, that was not love; it was lust. Love desires the highest good of another person. You were trying to seek sexual gratification before you met and fell in love with the woman you married.

Looking back now, you realise that by having so much sex with different women, you were abusing yourself, wasting your strength, and wasting money. If a man is true to himself, he will have to admit that it cost a lot of money to have many women, even if he is not giving the women a large amount every week.

I want to wish you and your wife well. I am sure she is wise enough not to leave you alone when she is going to study. You know long-distance relationships are very difficult to maintain, so I am glad that you are planning to go with her.

Pastor