I refuse to cheat on my man

Dear Pastor,

Season's greetings to you and your staff. I hope all is well with you. I greet everyone in Jamaica from cold New York. This is my second Christmas away from my homeland. I wish I could be with everybody at home, but I have to be here and I will make the best of it. I miss my children and my boyfriend. I asked my boyfriend to come and be with me for Christmas, but he said it is too cold. I told him we could warm up each other, but he is not interested.

My blanket is not enough, Pastor, but I would not trust any man to get into my bed. I met a man and I went out twice with him. After I went out the second time, I realised that he wanted to stick on to me and I told him that I agreed to go with him for a drink, but going to bed with him was not a part of the deal.

This man has his wife in Jamaica and to make it worse, he is younger than me. And although my man in Jamaica is poor, I prefer to struggle along with him.

Pastor, I am with my man for more than 20 years, but married for 10. We could have been married longer, but he wanted to build a house first. Now, we have a lovely home and we are comfortable, but I am here working to help pay off some debts. It can get very lonely up here, but I am not going to allow any other man to blow in my face. I love and respect my husband too much for that.

One Jamaican girl, who is working with the same company I am working with, said that I should take what I can get from men and do what I want to do, because I can't be sure that my man in Jamaica is not running around. I was very surprised with what she said because she claims to be a Christian. Sometimes she asks me if she can come and stay by me, but since she told me that I am foolish to be remaining faithful to my husband, I don't let her come back because that is telling me that she is cheating on her partner.

I can look in my husband's face and tell him that I have been faithful to him.

V.C.

Dear V.C.,

Now, you know for sure that you cannot trust some men. And, in fact, as a married woman, when they invite you out for a drink, it is better for you not to accept their invitation. Many women who have gone out for drinks with men have ended up in their beds. That wasn't a part of the plan, but many have had too much to drink and the alcohol broke down their inhibitions and caused them to feel free, and they ended up having sex with these men.

Some women have lost their good husbands in Jamaica because they allowed themselves to be carried away by the men they have met in America. Some of these men were old-time boyfriends. And, they thought that the love they had for them had died. But, after seeing them again, the fire was rekindled. And, it has been said that "old fire stick easy fi ketch."

Keep out of trouble, my dear. Make yourself comfortable. If you have to go out, go in groups and with people you can trust.

Pastor