Tired of jumping from one man to another

Dear Pastor,

I left St Catherine in December 2015 and up until last October, I kept running in and out of relationships, which add up to about four different partners.

I left the first one because when I told him that I needed help with my three girls, he said he wanted someone to help him, too.

The second one lives with his children's mother. She has two children and was not working. He was operating an illegal taxi, so I left him.

The third one has helped me through HEART; I had to run behind him for money. I told him I had fibroids.

I used my head on him and told him that I borrowed $5,500 to do an ultrasound and the doctor said that because of the fibroids, I would have to buy medication and it would cost more than $5,000.

When I told him, he said he would not even give me half of the money. He said that I was working and I could buy it, and he would reimburse me. So I left him.

In December of last year, I met another guy who was always showing interest in me.

By talking to him, I started developing feelings for him and we started a relationship in late December. He cannot read.

He is 33 and had a hand cart that he used to sell for people. After we got closer, he told me that he had to stop selling for people because it was not working out.

His plan was to go and plant marijuana. Because of the drought he had to delay that plan.

I got frustrated on many occasions, and told him I was going to leave him because he could not help me and my kids. He does not have any children.

All I get from him is cultivation, but I think I am wasting my time.

If I wasn't working, I don't know how I would survive. I work as a cashier and I only receive $14,000 per fortnight. For a woman with three girls between ages 13 and 18, I am not making enough.

He gets handyman work occasionally and he will give me $2,000 or $3,000 or most of what he gets, and that is once in a while.

The reason why I am staying with him is because I am tired of hopping in and out of relationships. He wants to see if we can make this one work.

ONE BED

Another reason why I would consider leaving many times is because he lives in a small room with one bed and a chair, near to the sea with other fishermen.

He has to use the bathroom outside and it is a little distance from his room, which I find to be uncomfortable. There is no light and running water.

I do not know if I am very foolish to be staying with this man. I only visit him there twice per week.

He doesn't pressure me for sex, and sometimes we don't have sex for weeks or more.

I have two babyfathers. the father of two of the girls decided that he is not taking care of the oldest one. He prefers to take care of his girlfriend. The other babyfather does absolutely nothing.

I just want your advice about my present boyfriend, as it is wearing me down and I think enough is enough.

Please tell me what I should do.

Y.D.

Dear Y.D.,

I hope others will learn that it does not pay good dividend to be careless with one's life. Nowhere in your letter have you shown empathy for any of the men with whom you have had relationships.

You are only with this last guy because you can get his money. I must tell you the truth, this is a brother who loves you. He cannot read, but he loves you and he gives you most of his money.

Now, if you were a good woman, you would have suggested to teach him to read. But you haven't done so. I suppose that you believe that you would get much more out of him by keeping him in ignorance.

The other guys wanted sex from you all the time; this uneducated man only wanted to have sex with you once in a while.

I want to warn you about something. You say different things to men to get money out of them, like telling one that you have fibroids.

I want to tell you that it is a very, very bad thing to call sickness on yourself.

I can see that you have had a rough time financially and that men have not been very kind to you, but I believe that you have made yourself too cheap.

It is time to keep one man. It is also time to serve God and to set good examples for your children.

Pastor