The helper taught me how to make love

Dear Pastor,

When I was 16, I had my first sexual experience. It was with the helper my parents had employed to take care of the home.

She was a woman in her 20s and one day she asked me if I had ever seen a 'big woman thing'. I asked her what she meant and she repeated that as a boy, I need to see how a woman looks 'down there'. She asked me if I would love to see hers and I told her yes. She went into the bathroom and then called me to have a look. I did not go but she came out of the bathroom naked and said "You want to have a look so I am going to show you."

It was the first time I had seen a woman's vagina in plain sight. Then she started to play with me and I had an erection and she said I was old enough to have sex. She pushed me down on the bed and asked me if I ever had sex; I told her no. She told me that she was going to teach me.

This woman had sex with me and warned me not to say anything to my parents. We had sex again when my parents went to the market, but this time I was the one who approached her. Then we decided to have sex on a regular basis. She started to call me her boyfriend. She told me that she did not have any children but she had a boyfriend in the country and she missed him, but we had to keep quiet about what we are doing.

One weekend she left to spend time in the country and she called me from home. I told her that she should hurry up and come back. She told me that she missed me. I did not know that my mother was listening to the conversation, so she asked me who I was talking to. I told her it was one of my school friends, but my mother did not believe me. She checked the number and realised that it was the helper. She asked if the helper was messing around me and I told her no. As soon as the helper returned to work, my mother asked her to leave. My mother lied and told the helper that I had told her everything that went on between us, but I didn't.

I have a girlfriend now but the helper still remains the best girlfriend that I have had and still remained my best sexual partner. You may consider her bad but I don't.

K.,

Dear K,

Recently, I mentioned on my Dear Pastor show that a young man who had an affair with one of his teachers told me on air that he and this teacher became lovers.

He got the teacher pregnant but nobody knew what was happening between them. His father was a lawyer and if the affair was known, his father would have sued the teacher. Naturally the teacher was very quiet about it and she gave birth and went to England. When the student graduated, he went to England and married her. When he spoke to me on the show, he told me that they are happily married.

It is very unfortunate that some helpers become sexually involved with their employers' children. This young woman offered to have sex with you when you were 16. Both of you became serious lovers and your mother suspected that something was going on between the both of you. You looked at this woman as a great sexual partner.

Your mother did the right thing by firing the helper. I hope that in years to come you would consider what the helper and you did as a big mistake.

Pastor