Women keep running me down

Dear Pastor,

This is the first time that I am writing to you, but I enjoy reading your column. I am 23 years old and I am still living at home.

I do not plan to leave, because I grew up with my grandparents and they are not well. I have one sister who used to live with us, but she got into a programme and went to America and has not returned. The good news, however, is that she found a man and they are now married. He got her pregnant.

My sister told me that he is a nice guy and he takes good care of her. He cannot speak English very well. Sometimes when she is upset with him, she talks Jamaican and all he does is grin, because he doesn't understand. But she knows what she is saying to him, and sometimes what she is saying is not nice.

I have got a visa, so in the coming year I hope to visit my sister. She is helping her husband to learn English. He said that he wanted to have a son, but they are expecting a girl. My sister tries her best to send a little money for our grandparents, but it is not much. I am trying to refurbish their home. It is hard going, but I have to try.

I do not have a girlfriend, at least not a stable one. I am very careful. I do not want to get any girl pregnant, and I don't want a stable relationship, because I am not in any position to support a woman. My grandparents say that they will turn over the house to my sister and me. But I want them to live a long and happy life. Some of the girls in my area are always offering themselves to me because I am brown. I do not care for skin colour. I will marry a black girl if I love her, but I am not ready for marriage.

A.N.