Girlfriend wants me to get tested for HIV

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and I am in love with a girl who is also 19. I should say that both of us love each other. One day I asked her for sex and she said she was afraid to have sex with me. She said that she has never had sex and she was afraid of catching a disease, as she did not know if I have HIV. I became very upset because I did not expect her to say that. I told her that I would have told her. The only thing we did that evening was fuss with each other. But then we made up with a kiss.

By the time I got home, she called me and told me that she was sorry for telling me that she did not want me to pass on HIV to her. But she said that if we were going to be true lovers, both of us should go and take the test. I told her that I was not interested, because I knew that I was not sick. I love this girl world without end, and I don't want to lose her, but she does not trust me. She said her doctor told her that she should not just have sex with anybody unless she knows their status.

What do you think that I should do?

S.R.

Dear S.R.,

If you are in love with this young lady, you need to quiet your spirit and learn to discuss matters of relationships and sex with her without getting angry.

The young lady told you how she felt; accept what she said. She is a wise young woman. She did not say that you are promiscuous, she was speaking generally, and she wanted you to know that she is trying to be careful. HIV is a deadly disease, so what you should do is let both of you go together and get tested. If you continue to say no, and that you are not interested, then she should drop you like hot bread.

You are not the only man in town. You may feel that you are hot, but this girl knows that anything can happen; and if you are wise, you will try to find out about your status. Don't be foolish, you have met a nice, intelligent, 19-year-old girl who is trying to protect herself. Accept that and go and get tested.

Pastor