Having an affair with my landlady

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you and your staff. I am a young man and I am having a relationship with an older woman. This woman could be my mother, but I love her. She treats me very well.

I have a girlfriend and I give her money every week, but she is lazy and doesn't clean the house. I have to come home and wash my clothes and do everything so that I can get ready to go to work. This lady whom I am involved with is the landlady. She told me that when she asked my girlfriend why she does not prepare my meals or wash my clothes, my girlfriend told her that men ought to learn to do everything, and her mother taught her brothers to wash, clean and cook. So she does not intend to spoil me.

My landlady is in love with me and I find myself loving her, too. We have a secret thing going on. Sometimes when I come home, my girlfriend is not at home, and this lady cooks and saves dinner for me, so I don't bother to cook. Whenever my girlfriend asks why I didn't cook, I tell her I had a heavy lunch at work. I am tired of the situation. My girlfriend is also faking orgasms when we are having sex, and she wants me to stop. I know when she is faking, as her private part is 'dry as chip'. Yet she is making noise and telling me how good the sex is.

This older woman doesn't have to fake, she turns me on and she does everything to satisfy me. Nobody in the yard knows that we are having an affair because I can pass as this woman's son. I do not have to use a condom because she is beyond the age of getting pregnant, and I know for sure that she is not having sex with any other man.

I don't know what to do. The situation with me and my girlfriend cannot continue. Do you think that we should go to see a counsellor? I suggested that, but my girlfriend told me that she was not interested.

What do you think I should do?

H.T.

Dear H.T.,

You didn't give me your age or this woman's age. But I want you to know that I understand what you are saying. I also want you to know that it is not unusual for landlords or landladies to become sexually involved with their tenants.

Your girlfriend is acting as a fool and your landlady has seized the opportunity to become sexually involved with you. She sees that your so-called girlfriend is not treating you well and she probably thinks, why should this nice gentleman wash his own clothes, cook his own meals and clean the house while his girlfriend is living with him? Your landlady knows how to take care of a man, so she has been doing what your girlfriend should do. Above everything else, she is happy to take you to bed and to make you very happy and comfortable there. You said a few things that I will not print. But I would not be surprised if at times she would not want you to pay her the rent.

You have suggested to your girlfriend that both of you should go and see a counsellor, and she has declared that she is not interested in doing so. Please, ask her again. I cannot encourage you to continue to have an affair with your landlady. I don't believe that this relationship is healthy, but neither can I say that your girlfriend and you are having a good relationship. But let your girlfriend know that you will see the counsellor with or without her, and that you would be prepared to end the relationship with her very soon.

Pastor