My husband is terrible with money

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 years old and I am married. I have two children but I am very frustrated. My husband is always in debt and when he borrows, he does not repay the people he borrowed from.

He claims to be a Christian and he owes everybody in the church. It is very embarrassing for me. They come to me all the time and ask me to speak to my husband about repaying them. Sometimes I tell them that they did not borrow from me, so they should go to him themselves, but I say that out of embarrassment.

My husband has a good job and I have a fairly good job. I do not pressure him for money. I asked him if he is giving women his money and he said no. He owes more than $1 million on his car. I told him to sell it. He said he would only do so if I would allow him to use my car to go to work and to hustle. I told him no, so he has not sold the car.

One of the elders in the church said he is going to take him to court because he signed an agreement to pay him back and he has not done so. My husband is so embarrassed now that he hardly attends church and he is encouraging me to leave the church. I will not leave because I grew up in this church and my navel string is here.

None of his siblings will help him. They say they will not get their money back. I do not know what to do, so give me your advice.

S.G.

Dear S.G.,

Your husband and yourself should make a budget and stick to it. He should live below his means. He should only buy what he needs and not what he wants.

Perhaps part of the reason why he is always in debt is because he likes to show off. If he cannot manage money, you should manage it for him. Many people use their credit cards to purchase items that they do not need. So please make a budget and keep it somewhere you can see it every day. Look around your house and see what you can sell and use that money to help you pay off your debt.

I have gone to homes and I see excess furniture, more furniture than space. Such people are silly. If you have a very big television set, get rid of it and buy something smaller. You will be able to see the same movies and listen to the news and enjoy sports on a small television. Your husband should get another job, a part-time job, perhaps something on a Saturday. In that way he will earn a little more money and use that towards his debt. Some people join clubs. If he likes to play golf, he may have to stop doing so until he brings his debt down, because that is a very expensive sport. If he has a gym membership, he should give that up and go walking two or three times per week. He will save money and reduce his debt.

I know it is tough for some people, but some people should not have credit cards unless they are going to pay off the balance every month. Believe me, that is not easy to do. So cut up the credit card and pay everything with cash. If you have cable, give it up. CVM and TVJ put out good movies. I know some people may hate me for saying these things, but I am trying to save your relationship. You don't have to go out to eat. Cook your own meals, you will enjoy your own cooking.

I have said enough. Now put into practice what I have told you and write me back one year from today.

Pastor