Did not know my girlfriend was a stripper

Dear Pastor,

I am 37 and I was living with my girlfriend. We were together for three years.

I took her in when she broke up with the guy she has a child with. She told me she wanted to leave him because he was abusing her. She also told me that she was going to give up the child to his mother. After she did, I told her she could come and live with me. I am a security guard and I did my best to take care of her.

My brother and I were living together, so we decided to get a bigger place so that this girl could come. She said she wanted to start going to church. We found a two-bedroom place and she came to live with us. I bought a new bed, but I did not get rid of the old one, because anyone who might want to spend the night with us and could use it. The place has enough space.

This girl went to church for a while but later stopped. My brother told me that she was tricking me because when I was at work, she used to go out for hours. So I told my brother to watch and see where she went. Sometimes when I was at work and I called her, she didn't answer. She said her phone was off or she was charging it.

One day my brother told me that he got his girlfriend to trail her and she ended up in a club and was dancing go-go. She was climbing the pole, and men were cheering her on to take off every piece of clothes. I could not believe that this was the same girl who told me that she had changed. I spent lots of money on her. She used to work at the club and get home before I left work. She then behaved as if she was home all night.

I shocked her, because my brother's girlfriend took pictures of her dancing nude at the club. When I confronted her and she denied it, I showed her the pictures. I asked her why she had to let herself down by dancing in the club. She said she needed the money and what I was giving her was not enough. I tried my best with this girl, but I realised that some people cannot change.

I asked her to leave. It took her two weeks to leave, but she is now a full-time prostitute at a popular spot in Kingston. Sometimes she calls me, begging me to take her back. I can't stand the girl. She said that she would give me half of the money she worked as a stripper. She also accused my brother of approaching her for sex. But my brother denied that he ever asked her to go to bed with him. His girlfriend stays with him at the house at least twice per week, so he is not hard up for sex. Even if I wanted to take her back, I couldn't do it knowing that there is proof that she became a stripper and is now a prostitute.

I don't know why, but I still love this girl. I don't know why I still have a soft spot in my heart for her. One mind tells me to take her back, but another mind says no, she is too bad. What do you think I should do?

V.

Dear V.,

I hope the experience will teach you to be careful how you get into a relationship with a woman.

Evidently, you did not find out much about her at all. You just accepted her word and allowed her to come and live in the same house with you and your brother. She didn't continue attending church because she didn't have a conversion experience. She attended church to make you feel that she had changed.

You would be a fool to take her back. This is not the type of woman you can trust. I wouldn't be surprised if she is trying to spread discord between your brother and you, by telling you that he approached her for sex. Resist every temptation to take back this woman.

If she wants to be a prostitute, that is her decision. But you should not be her lover while she is practising prostitution. Be wise, my dear sir, be wise.

Pastor