Church wants my son to abstain from sex

Dear Pastor,

I am a 60-year-old woman and I am writing you about a matter. I have six children who are all over the place, except one who is living with me.

My son told me that he has a girlfriend, but he is about to lose her because the church he has been attending told him that he has to practice celibacy to test his strength as to whether he can do without sex.

The church wants to appoint him as an officer. However, the older officers are telling him that he has to be prepared to abstain from any sexual contact with his girlfriend. He discussed it with his girlfriend and she told him that she is going to leave him, because what she expected was for them to encourage him to get married to her, but my son is not ready to be married. He loves her, but he has other plans, and marriage is not in his plan in the near future.

Should a church have such a rule that men should abstain from sexual intercourse before they are appointed as officers?

I asked my son what about the women, does that also apply to women in the church, and he says that it applies to them as well. I do not want my son to leave his girlfriend. She has been very good to him. He does not have children, and I want him to continue to be active in his church.

Do you think the elders have a right to question him about his sex life? Please explain.

Anonymous

Dear Writer,

Some churches have very strange rules. This church wants your son to tell them whether he and his girlfriend engage in sexual intercourse. They want him to be celibate, and he should tell them whether or not he is before they could consider him to hold an office in their church. They have strange rules indeed.

Your son is not under any obligation to discuss his private life with the church. However, I must point out that the Bible says that Christian ought to refrain from fornication, which means sexual immorality. That is taught throughout the New Testament. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 2:22: "Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart."

Pastor