Wife spending too much time at work

Dear Pastor,

I am 33 years old. I have been reading your column from I was a teenager. My father is a big fan of your column.

The only thing I know my father reads is THE STAR and as soon as he buys it, he turns to your section. So I could say that I grew up reading the letters in your column.

I am a Christian and I have been married for three years. The relationship with my wife was going very well until she changed jobs. Since then, she does not have much time for me. We have discussed the problem many times. We have even gone to see our pastor to talk about the matter. The pastor told us that as a young couple, it is better for us not to be so involved in making money.

My wife spends many hours at work, even when the business is closed. She said that her boss always comes in and gives her extra work to do. She is afraid to tell him no because the job pays well. What I earn is enough to pay our rent and to put food on the table. I don't ask my wife to contribute much; she spends most of her money on clothes, hair and shoes. Don't get me wrong, I love to see her dress up; she is a real beauty. When we attend church, the other women always admire how beautiful she looks. The only time we can spend together is on Sundays, but that is not enough. Sometimes my wife goes to work even on Saturdays. We do not have children together as yet, but that is something we are looking forward to.

I am a reasonable man, and she tells everybody that I am easy to get along with. I don't hide anything from her. We have a joint account, so she knows exactly what is in there. I need my woman more than anything else in the world, but her job is affecting our relationship. So I am asking you for some help.

D.M.

Dear D.M.,

Any couple who does not spend time with each other will eventually divorce.

Your wife is making a big mistake to believe that money is more important than anything else. Couples who spend only a little time with each other are liable to break up. It is just a matter of time. I have said many times that money cannot buy love, regardless how much it is. So, your wife should listen to good advice and cherish your relationship more than the money she is earning.

I believe that you trust your wife, but you want a wife who is committed to the relationship. If she does not see the relationship as important, what would happen when she becomes pregnant? How would she handle motherhood?

I do not know if your pastor is a trained counsellor, but you ought not to ignore what he said. However, I suggest that both of you try to get help from a marriage counsellor as soon as possible. Put the suggestion that the marriage counsellor puts to you into practice. I wish both of you God's blessings.

Pastor