My third wife is a mistake

Dear Pastor,

I am a Jamaican, but I am living in the United States of America (USA). I have been married three times. My first wife died and I got married a second time, but it ended in divorce. I am now on my third marriage. However, this woman does not show me much love. She is not good wife material. She works and comes home early, but hardly ever cook a meal for me. She said it is cheaper for us to buy our meals from fast-food restaurants. Whenever I want good Jamaican food, I have to find Jamaican restaurants and take my meal home. My wife sits and eats with me.

I am not going to take this relationship much further. I have made a bad mistake.

Sometimes my relatives come to the house and cook, and that is how I get a good Jamaican dinner. This girl is not Jamaican, but she is from one of the Caribbean islands. She is only interested in my money. We don't have children. Sometimes I have to curse and remind her that the house should be kept clean. On a Saturday when she should get up and clean the house, she is in bed all day. I have to do my own laundry.

My sister mocked me and told me that I married this girl because I wanted a 'high-colour'. She is of very light complexion, but that is all she has. It doesn't look good on my part, I know, to be married three times, but I am going to have to tell this woman that we must part.

I started to attend church and I was encouraging her to come with me. She said she has more important things to do with her money. The church is not asking her for money; she is just not interested in serving God. We do not have assets together. So, according to what I was told, it should not be difficult to divorce this woman; I would not lose much. Not once has this woman helped me to pay the rent for the apartment in which we live.

What do you think is the problem with some of these women who came to the USA and men help them with their green cards, and as soon as they become permanent, they start to treat their husbands as floor mats? My wife does not want to hear me talk in the house, and she does not have anything pleasant to say about Jamaicans.

F.

Dear F.,

It is unfortunate that you have not met a good woman although you have been married three times. Perhaps you were too much in a hurry to get married and did not get to know the women well before marrying them. It is true that some people get married to get the permanent residency status in the USA. Business marriage should never be encouraged, but it is done regularly. I have even heard of a woman who married her brother. Marriage is a sacred institution, but not many people look at it as sacred any more.

Your present wife doesn't respect you. She does not even take care of the home. She should honour you by seeing that you have your regular meals. That does not mean that you would not assist in the cooking from time to time. Why should a man eat fast food almost every day of his life? That is a big waste of money. Any woman who is making crazy assertions about Jamaicans doesn't know better.

I know that you have already been to see a lawyer. Don't do anything silly; follow his instructions.

Pastor