My man is too kind to other women

Dear Pastor,

I have been a regular reader of your column and I listen to your show on Power106 FM. I thank you for your good advice, both in the newspaper and on radio. Sometimes I wonder how you have the time to answer so many letters.

I am 24 and I am in love with a man who is 34. We have been lovers for two years, but he is very controlling. At first, when we started out as friends, I had to assure him that I would be true to him, because his girlfriend before me cheated on him and stole his money. She said that she did not steal the money, but her brother, who came to the house, is known to be a thief. After he left, the money could not be found. So I told my boyfriend that he did not have to hide his money.

When I met him, I had a password on my phone but I took it off and told him he could go into my phone any time. I also told him that he should not have a password on his phone either, because I should have the right to see who is calling him.

This man gives me everything that I want. He provides for me. We live in a very nice apartment. He drives a van to do his work as a contractor, and I drive his car to go anywhere I want. Whenever I am going out I have to tell him where I am going. I don't have any problem with that.

One day I went into his phone and I saw a picture of a girl sitting on his lap so I asked him about it and he said the girl was just fooling around with him. I did not allow that to bother me, but I told him that the next time she fools around him, he should destroy that photograph.

Pastor, I am a little curious. Why did she send him that photo? I know I can trust this man, but he is so generous. I don't trust women around him because I know women who approached him for money, and he has a soft heart, so he gives it to them.

I am in the medical field. This man pays every bill for me. My father is sickly, and this man gives me money to help my father. My mother loves him very much, and she tells me to make sure that I take care of him.

We are planning to get married. He said he wants to have a big wedding. He does not have children. We want to have three children together. A man his age should have already fathered children but he has been very careful.

L.C.

Dear L.C.,

I hope that you will remain faithful to this man. A woman should never steal from her man, so if this former girlfriend knew that her brother is a thief, she should not have allowed him to stay at the house.

People have different opinions about whether they should have a password on their phone, and if they do, they should know each other's password. It is up to the individual, as I see it.

If a man's mother has written to him, it might be something that is private between him and her, and his wife doesn't have to know what that is about. A woman should be able to communicate with her children privately, and no one but the mother and son should know what it is all about. So people should enjoy their privacy and not make that a big issue.

You have a good man who pays all your bills and is helping you to get a good education. I wish both of you well.

Pastor