I am never having unprotected sex again

Dear Pastor,

I am a 19-year-old woman and I have a problem I would like to relate to you. I have been sexually active. I started to have sex when I was 16 years old.

It is something that I like to do. The first couple of times I had sex, I did it skin to skin, and so I caught a disease. I had to go to the doctor. I don't know which of the guys passed on the disease to me; there were two of them that I had sex with. I spoke to both of them and they said they were not responsible, and they didn't have any money to help me.

I borrowed money from my sister's boyfriend, but I did not tell him what had happened to me. He told my sister that I asked him for money and she asked me why I needed money; I told her I wanted to go and do a check-up. So, I went to the doctor, who warned me not to have unprotected sex again for the rest of my life. I did not have sex with anybody for about six months. Then I bought condoms, and I have always carried condoms in my bag.

When I started to have a relationship with my present boyfriend, I sent him into my bag to get my phone and he saw condoms. He wanted to know whether I was cheating on him and I told him I wasn't, but I had them in there for our own protection. That was the truth. I have not had sex with anybody else since we have been going together. But over and over, this man has asked me whether I am telling him the truth. Recently he asked me again, so I told him that if he does not believe me, we can split up.

I don't know if my boyfriend has another woman in his life, but when we had sex for the first time, he used a condom. But I had mine in my bag. If he didn't have a condom, I would have given him one of mine.

Do you think I am bad because I travel with condoms in my bag?

F.N.

Dear F.N.,

Let me answer your question. No, you are not bad because you travel with condoms, and I believe that your boyfriend should believe you.

You didn't have to explain to him that you had sex and that you picked up a disease. A wise man wouldn't constantly question you as to why you had condoms in your bag. Always follow the advice of your doctor, and never forget that unprotected sex can cause great harm. You are 19 years old; learn to protect yourself always.

Pastor