Should a wife submit everything to her husband?

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you for some guidelines. I have been a Christian since I was 17 and now I am 23. My boyfriend is also 23. He has proposed to me.

Both of us go to church, but we are not of the same denomination. He is a true Christian. Many times when we meet, we study the Bible together. Recently, we were studying the Book of Ephesians. My boyfriend was excited when we read that wives should submit themselves to their husbands. He told me that he likes this portion of scripture and he hopes that I will obey him after we are married.

I don't have any problem submitting to this man, but I don't fully understand the passage. Does that mean that a wife should obey her husband in everything and submit to him? What about if he is wrong? What if a man's wife is more educated and more knowledgeable than her husband? Why should she submit to him? Please explain this exhortation from the Apostle Paul. Thank you very much.

Unnamed

Dear Writer,

I am glad to hear that your fiance and you are Christians and that you have regular Bible study. You are not perfect, neither is your fiance. Both of you will make mistakes. But if you are willing to serve the Lord, you will grow in grace day by day.

It is a fact that the Bible says a wife should submit to her husband. But it is very difficult for a man's wife to submit to him if he is not walking with the Lord and he is not a Christian. Ephesians 5:22 declares, "W ives, submit yourself unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord." A wife submits herself onto Christ. That is not difficult for some women to do because Christ is supreme. But where women have a problem is submitting to men who are not godly. There are men who believe that regardless of what they do, women should submit to them.

Men should endeavour to please the Lord in everything they do, and when women see that their men are endeavouring to behave as Christians, it becomes easier for them to submit to their husbands' leading and authority. A woman is under divine obligation to submit to God and also to her own husband.

In Colossians 3:18, it says " that it is a fit and proper thing for woman to do". It also says in 1 Peter 3:1 that " a wife should be in subjection to her husband". If a wife is rebellious, and will not listen and follow her husband, she should pray about it, because some men do have the wrong idea. They believe that because they are men, their wives should obey them even when they are wrong. This is a concern that you have.

When a man is going contrary to the scripture, he needs to seek spiritual guidance from his pastor. If a woman is determined to have her own way, she should not get married because she will not be happy, her children will not be happy, and the marriage is likely to end in divorce.

You have heard about Abraham and Sarah; Sarah was very obedient to Abraham. She respected him greatly and she called him "Lord". The Bible speaks of the virtuous woman; she, too, loved and respected her husband. She took good care of him, and it was known in their community. She was a good wife and her husband was very proud of her. A man must love his wife as Christ loves the Church. A man must be willing to stand up for his wife in every way possible. A wife has a role to play in the union and the husband also has a role to play, and together they should serve the Lord, in good times and in bad times.

Pastor