Co-worker telling lies on me

Dear Pastor,

Before I tell you my problem, I must say I am a regular reader of your column and I have encouraged my friends to read them, too.

My boyfriend was reluctant to read your column when we just met, but now he reads it every day. He was a soldier, but he left the army and we are living in the USA. He is younger than I am and he has one son. He used to spend money foolishly. He used to drink out every cent he earned. Now he has changed and he gives me credit every day for opening his eyes. His mother said because of me, her son is a changed man. I have two daughters, and they love him. He does everything for them.

These days I am having a problem with him because someone told him that I was having an affair with one of my co-workers. This man and I go out together on company business, and people see us together and believe that we are having an intimate relationship. My boyfriend has told me that he does not believe it, but he had to ask me because my co-worker was mocking him and telling him he was a fool to be with a woman who was cheating on him.

I am not going to leave my job because people told my boyfriend that I was not faithful to him. I know I am faithful. The man who told him that I was having an affair approached me some time ago and asked me whether I would go out with him, and I told him no. So I believe he is 'carrying feelings'. I was told that he said that he could get any girl in the company. So I messed up his ego, because he has not been able to have his way with me.

I am satisfied with what I earn. My boyfriend and I are saving to buy a house together. This man can give me much more than what my boyfriend can afford. He holds a good position in the company, but I don't love him. I would like to hear from you the steps that I can take.

Y.T.

Dear Y.T.,

I am glad that your boyfriend and you are happy together. I am also pleased to learn that your daughters have accepted your boyfriend as their father, so to speak.

It is a blessing when girls respect and accept their stepfathers. You must be a very good woman, because your boyfriend has been following your advice. It is almost like he is obeying you. He does not squander his money any more.

I want you to know that nothing is wrong if a man takes advice from his woman. Some silly men don't listen to their women at all. They declare that women should not tell them where to go. But if a woman understands business and how to handle money, her partner should ask her to control the funds. By controlling the funds, it would mean you are totally responsible for paying all the bills and for investing and saving part of what your boyfriend earns. But your boyfriend should not be kept in the dark; you should tell him what you are doing,

I am glad that your boyfriend trusts you. This man who has been trying to come between your boyfriend and you has no shame. I hope that the day will come when he will tell you that he is sorry for trying to destroy your relationship. I will go further in saying that I am also glad that your boyfriend has not believed what he heard.

If you believe that this man is sexually harassing you, then you should make a report to the police. But you should tell him what you intend to do, and I believe that would be enough warning to cause him to back off. I wish you well. I hope that your boyfriend and you will have enough funds to make a down payment on a home of your own.

Pastor