I need more loving

Dear Pastor,

I reading your column every day. I always try to get a copy of THE STAR. Your column is the first thing I turn to in this newspaper. I am never tired of reading it.

I am 33 years old and my husband is 50. He has his peculiarities and I have mine. We got married five years ago and I am not fully adjusted to his ways. He was married before and he told me he had a good marriage. Sometimes, he says if he follows me he will die before his time. This man takes good care of me.

When I first met him, I did not have a car, and one of the first things he said was that he did not like me travelling on the bus. He bought me a new car for my birthday. It was a big surprise to me.

He loves to have soup, so I make soup for him every Saturday. Saturday is our special day. He helps me wash and clean. He taught me how to iron his pants. My husband is an accountant, so he does a lot of his work at home. I have learned not to disturb him while he is working.

My former lover and I used to have sex any time at nights. But this man and I only have sex on weekends, and it was hard for me to adjust to that. Whenever I feel horny and I go to him, he tells me to go and help myself because I know what to do. We go out sometimes on weekends, but we get back early enough to have our time together; Friday nights and Saturday nights we rump together. I have adjusted to that now. So I tell my friends that Friday nights and Saturday nights belong to my husband. He told me that if I do what he says, he will live to a healthy old age, but if I harass him, he will die early.

I love this man very much, and although he is 20 years or so older than I am, we don't argue and fight. Some of my friends admire us. I am still learning how to adjust to his ways. I would not want to have another man in my life. He is good at what he does.

P.

Dear P.,

I want to assure you that it is not unusual for some couples to have special days to make love. Some couples insist that Friday night sex is the best sex. Women seem to enjoy that because the men take home their pay cheques on a Friday. So what better way for a woman to show her appreciation to him?

Your husband works very hard. He has his deadlines to meet, so he does not want to be disturbed by you, and when he comes to bed, he wants to sleep well. I suppose you can always look forward to a Friday night of fun. He tells you that you should help yourself and not harass him. I don't want to comment on that, you know what he means.

You have not mentioned children, so I am assuming that both of you do not have children together. You have a good and helpful husband. Not many husbands are willing to help their wives wash, clean and iron. Continue to love this man and show him much appreciation.

Pastor