Oral sex sealed the deal

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 25 years old. I wasn't a Christian, so I had many boyfriends. I was never a bad girl, but I used to go out with lots of friends. I enjoyed going to nightclubs. My parents only warn me to be careful. My mother brought different men to the house. She would just introduce them to us, and sometimes these men would sleep over. We thought nothing about it.

My sister met a man and she started to attend church. She invited me to the same church and I went. After a few weeks, I became involved with my present boyfriend. He only attended church, but he did not make any commitment. We started to go out, and to have sex. My sister and my boyfriend became very good friends and she tried to get him to discourage me from attending nightclubs.

My boyfriend and I did everything sexually. I asked him to go down on me to prove that he loves me. He obliged, and that sealed the deal.

We are now both in counselling to get married. My mother says that she is not interested in getting married, but she would like to see her children happy. My boyfriend is two years younger than I am, but he does not look his age.

Is there anything wrong in us having oral sex? Both of us love to do it. Please, tell us if what we are doing is wrong.

I.

Dear I.,

People ask me this question about oral sex all the time. I have commented on it on many occasions, so I will repeat some of the things I have said. I am not here to condemn any couple who practises oral sex. Some marriage counsellors condemn the practice. They say it is wrong, and they can point to certain scriptures to prove their point. Sometimes the scriptures that they quote have nothing to do with the subject. I will neither give approval nor will I condemn it.

I would suggest that now that your fiance and you are attending premarital counselling that you raise the matter with the counsellor. Discuss it with an open mind. I am glad that your fiance and you are planning to get married.

I wish both of you well.

Pastor