Gave husband’s best friend position he never got

Dear Pastor,

I am 36 years old. I started to read your column during my high-school days. I grew up with my grandmother and she always bought THE STAR. She often laughed when she read your column. On the occasions that she agrees with you she would say, "Pastor not easy. That is why I love him so."

I was one of the fortunate ones when my grandmother passed on. She left her house for me, and so I did not have to be concerned about buying a house. It is a three-bedroom, two-bathroom house. With the help of one of my brothers, we took charge of our grandmother's funeral.

My mother died years ago. I told my brother, who lives abroad, that he could come and stay with me whenever he comes to Jamaica. I have two children with my husband, however, our relationship is not doing well. I have tried to keep my head up. I went to university and got a degree.

My husband has always fooled around other women and he does not seem as if he is going to stop. One day I asked him if something was wrong with me, and he said not to his knowledge. I told him that he should really have a good look at me, and he said nothing is wrong with me. I told him if he does not stop messing around other women, I would leave him. It really hurts me when I found out that my husband put question to one of my friends. She told me about it, but she also told me that I should not say anything. She said my husband slept with another colleague of ours. I was so upset, I told myself that I am going to 'bun' him back. I am not proud of myself, but I planned it.

He went to the country to attend a wake. I knew, for sure, that he was at the wake, so I used the opportunity to 'bun him'. I took the two children to spend the night with my husband's mother. She always wants to have them, so I had the house for myself.

My husband's best friend always used to tell me how nice I look, and he knew also that my husband was not faithful to me. So when my husband was away, I called him to come and see me. He took a taxi because I didn't want him to drive his car. He spent two hours with me. This was my way of spiting my husband for his cheating ways. Two hours of it, but after he left I broke down in tears. I could not believe that I had given away myself to my husband's best friend.

Why did I cry? I cry because I never thought that I would have gone to his best friend. I know his best friend will never let him know that he got me to bed. I even did a certain position with him that I have never done that with my husband. I have made up my mind that if my husband does not stop fooling around I would leave him, because his best friend told me that his wife has never made him feel so good in bed. If he leaves his wife for me, then I can give up on my husband, because it does not seem as if he will stop whoring around.

Please, do not condemn me. I am not proud of what I have done, but I did it to spite my husband. This man told me that my husband should never leave me for another woman, because I do not even feel as if I have children.

P.

Dear P.,

Some men feel that they are very smart and that they are the biggest cheaters in the world. However, I say to men all the time that if they feel that they are good in cheating, women are smarter cheaters.

Women have admitted to me in counseling sessions that those men don't know what they are saying, because they have cheated on them numerous times and the men do not have a clue that is going on.

You said that your husband has not stopped cheating, and although you have spoken to him, he continued. So you cheated on him. Many women have told me similar stories. Women know that when they have got involved with their husband's best friend, it hurts the men deeply.

A gentleman came to me for counseling and he said that he went home and caught his wife in the very act. His best friend was in his bedroom having sex with his wife. He could have blown the man to pieces because he had his firearm with him, but the Good Lord helped him to walk away and did not harm them. However, he divorced his wife.

I want to ask you these questions. You said you went to your husband's best friend to spite him. How did you spite your husband? In what way can you consider what you have done spiting your husband?

You shed your tears, but those tears meant nothing because you are quite prepared to go to bed with this man again, or with someone else, if your husband doesn't stop cheating.

Pastor