Baptised to get the girl ... But she doesn’t want me

Dear Pastor,

I hope all is well with you. I have enjoyed reading your column all the time since I was younger. I'm a young Christian and recently I got filled with the Holy Ghost.

I met this girl late last year when I was not yet a Christian. We became good friends and I ended up liking her. We dated for a short while but the relationship ended because she was a Christian and she did not want to be with an unsaved.

I started going to church. I got baptised and I'm now born again. However, this young lady does not seem to want a relationship with me. I'm not the one to force a woman into a relationship. We are extremely close and we are known by each other's family.

I love this young lady a lot and I really want to be with her, but it seems as if there is something holding her back. I understand that she's serious about her Christian life, and she does not want any distractions, but I don't think she understands that my intention is for us to grow in Christ together.

She is a great person; she treats me well, she respects me, and is always concerned about my well-being. I would like your advice on this situation as I no longer know what to do.

T.

Dear T.,

I believe that you mean well and I am glad that you have been reading my column for a long time. You have not given your age, but it is clear that you are in love with a young woman who does not love you. You love her and you are trying your best to win her love. But you are not successful in doing so.

You say that this girl did not want to be with an unsaved man. You started to go to church and you got baptised. Now you believe that you are born again. Having done all these sacred things, you believe you have won her heart, but the young lady is still not responding to you.

You see, sir, she might be wondering whether you got baptised and are attending church just to get her. She might be questioning your motives.

You are in a hurry to go further in this relationship, but this woman is not in a hurry. She knows that some men go through rituals to get women and after they have done so, they turn their backs on the women. She might be praying about the relationship. Be patient. Don't try to push this lady; wait on her and wait on the Lord also.

The Lord will lead you if you pray and show her respect also.

Pastor