Handyman trying to get with me

Dear Pastor,

I enjoy reading your column. I am a big woman, but I like to keep up with young people because I have two granddaughters and I hear them talking about boyfriends all the time. Sometimes they think I don't know what they are saying. But I go on Instagram and I see what these young girls are doing. I look at these things mostly at nights when I am in my bedroom alone and I turn my phone way down low. One of my grandchildren is only 16, and the other one is 18. I spend time talking to them and they always say "Grandma, we know these things already."

Pastor, I did not begin to go to bed with men until I was 20 and I don't regret doing so. I never got married. I look back now and I am glad that I never got married because this man who had two children with me was a thief. My father had warned me about him, but I did not listen. I am living in my own place. My parents bought this place and handed it over to me. Sometimes I feel for a man, but I control myself and have cold showers. I have a sister who lives abroad and she took my parents to live with her. I did not want to leave Jamaica. My parents come home every year and when they are here, I am so happy. No man can fool me again. These girls who are here with me are going abroad to study and I doubt they will come back to live in Jamaica. Jamaica is hard, Pastor.

I have a little man who says he loves me, but I don't want anything from him because he has nothing. I don't have anything against him, but he comes from a very poor family. Whenever I have anything to fix in the house, I call him and he takes care of what is broken. He is always begging me for what I refuse to give him, but I have not yielded. I told him he cannot manage and he says that I can't know that until he proves himself. Some of these men have a lot of chat but cannot do anything. Keep up your good work, Pastor; keep it up.

C.S.

Dear C.S.,

You are an intelligent woman. You know what is going on in the world. Some young people feel that when a person has reached their 40s or 50s, they don't know what is going on; but you do. You need to keep your eyes wide open and try to protect your grandchildren. I am glad that you are not begging anybody anything and that you are comfortable.

It is natural for you to feel for a man. You have biological needs, but you do not have to give in to your feelings. Even the gentleman who says he loves and helps you from time to time would respect you if you are not willing to throw yourself at him.

Pastor