Think I’m attracting sex demons

Dear Pastor,

I am 26 and I work at a college library. I'm also a university student completing my bachelor's degree. I have a three-year-old and I am a single parent. I don't have any luck with men and I think this is a generational curse.

I do whatever I have to do as a partner but I just keep ending up with horrible men. I believe I am meant to be single. I am a Christian. I was baptised when I was 10 but during my teenage years, I lost my way. However, I still attend church. I will recommit my life to God but I do not want to make the same mistakes. Being a young mother, university student, working, and trying to keep my life together is very strenuous.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm not doing enough. I know if I had help financially and emotionally, I'd be further along but I am still grateful. I come from a very poor family and I want to change that. I don't get as much time to myself or to go out and enjoy my life. Others might see me and think I am doing great because I always try to look happy, but inside I cry a lot. I feel overwhelmed, alone, and at war with myself for the choices I make and for my inability to provide the way I want to. I rarely have time to do fun things with my daughter or even take her out. I am always working and studying. When I do get time on the weekends, I have to do laundry, cook, clean, and grocery shopping. Often I am too tired to do anything and I get irritated easily. I want to get a house or piece of land to build on because where I am living is not in a good condition. The National Housing Trust (NHT) doesn't give enough and I am afraid of taking out loans. I live with my mom and sister in a shaky board house. My mother and I are planning to join together to get an NHT loan but the prices are high.

I've been single for almost three years and I haven't had sex with anyone since 2020. My last relationship was with my child's father. We broke up when she was six months old because he was becoming mentally and emotionally abusive. Sometimes I have a high sex drive and I need to pleasure myself. All I need is to stimulate my clitoris with my finger until I climax. However, I am concerned that my actions might be attracting sex demons on to myself as I am committing this sinful act.

A few weeks ago I was on TikTok and I saw a pastor who offered prayer to persons. So I asked for prayer for my family. He called himself a prophet. He told me that I was under attack by sex demons. I never mentioned anything to him about myself. This has weighed on my mind for quite a while. I still masturbate but maybe once in a month when I can't help it. What is your opinion and advice for both this issue and my life in general?

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

I want to encourage you to do your best and not to condemn yourself. You are trying to do your best; you have made mistakes, but console yourself by reminding yourself that everybody makes mistakes. You are an intelligent young woman and you would have made better progress if you had help. Your child's father has not treated you well, but it was wise to leave him. He is not playing the role of a good father. But I want to encourage you to remain strong and to learn to make time for yourself.

You do not seem to have good family support. If members of your family cannot help you by keeping your child sometimes, you need to ask a good friend to keep her for a day or so, and instead of doing your washing and cleaning on a weekend, employ someone to do these things for you. You probably would not be able to pay someone to assist you every week, but you should try to do so once every two weeks.

Tell your mother about how you feel and ask her if she can keep your child occasionally. It is regrettable that this man who calls himself a prophet has helped to confuse you. Clearly he is not a trained counsellor. He is talking nonsense when he says that you are under attack by sex demons. The next thing that he would probably do is to tell you to send him some money to remove these demons. I hope that you will not keep in touch with him.

I want you to know that it is quite normal for a person to experience the need for intimacy and sex. To deal with this, you masturbate. It would be wrong for me or anyone to condemn you for doing so. My prayers are with you.

If your child's father is not playing his part in giving you money to help to support her, you should seriously consider taking him to Family Court. You should not support this child alone.

Please, let me hear from you again. I will be praying for you.

Pastor