Babymother wants too much child support

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 years old and I have two children with two different women. My children are very young. I did not expect to have two children with two different women at this stage of my life, but I can say that I was very careless. Since having these children, I have become more careful.

Neither of these women can become my wife. They are not wife material. I do not even eat from them. Both mothers are working, but I support my children. One of the mothers is much older than I am and she is very demanding. She is always threatening to take me to court because she believes that she could get more from me. My brother is a lawyer and he has spoken to her. But she insists that what I am giving to her is not enough. I do not like going to court, but if I have to fight her there, I would have no other choice.

I will listen to the advice of my brother. He, too, was taken to court for maintenance and the child's mother did not come out so well. I want to be able to spend time with my children every week, but this girl doesn't want me to spend time with my child at all. I am Jamaican, but she is not. She has even tried to put another child on me, but that could not stick because I have not gone to bed with her since she gave birth to my daughter.

I have a girlfriend now and she carries condoms in her purse, so we do not have unprotected sex. I am sure you understand what I mean. If everything goes well, I plan to marry my present girlfriend; she is a better girl by far.

H.M.

Dear H.M.,

Some people believe that judges are fools, but they are not. Judges weigh a matter carefully before passing judgment.

You must try to write down every conversation you have with this child's mother and keep a record of what you give her to support the child you have with her. Please do not make a mistake.

You say your brother is a lawyer; he should be able to advise you. This girl and you are not having sex any more and your present girlfriend always has condoms. I must warn you that condoms should not be carried in a warm area. So although she might be carrying the condoms, she should figure out the safest way to carry them.

I hope that this woman and you can resolve the problem without going to court. But if she is not the person you can reason with, don't be afraid to go to court. You have a right to spend some time with your daughter. And if she is going to fight you over that, go to court. I wish you well.

Pastor