Husband keeps trying to date my friends

Dear Pastor,

This is one of your long-time listeners and readers. I hope all is well with you. I hope you remember me. I am in my 40s. I used to tell you how much I needed a man.

It seems to me that my prayers were answered and a 58-year-old man came into my life. But it was better I had remained single because he is of no help to me.

When I met him, I thought he was the answer to my problem, but this man has not settled down. He is still after every skirt at his age. All the friends I introduce him to, he wants their numbers; and he calls them and tells them how much he loves them, and how he can't sleep at night because he is always thinking about them. I don't know where he gets all this energy from because he is a truck driver, but he is not working now.

He became very friendly with a nurse friend of mine and he found himself at her house uninvited. My friend did not know what to say when her man asked her how could this man show up at her house like that. He behaved as if she invited him, and the way he was carrying on, her boyfriend believed him. This man acts as if he is a scammer. I am ready to put him out of my house. He is a good cook, so he helps me with the cooking. When I go home in the evenings, dinner is always ready. He is not interested in going out to work. He says he is not ready to look for a job as yet.

I told him that if he doesn't want to go out to work, he would have to leave. Since I told him that, he has been saying that I want him to leave because I have another man. He is very friendly with my neighbour. She told me that he told her that I was pushing him out because I wanted to bring in my new man. This rumour has even reached the pastor.

One Sunday, the pastor was preaching and was throwing words about Christian women who were having affairs. I knew she was referring to me. Before I do anything drastic, please give me your advice.

C.M.

Dear C.M.,

You shouldn't wait to hear anything more from friends about what this man is saying about you. If he has a suitcase, pack it and put it at the main entrance of your house.

Tell him he has to go. He has nothing in your house, so let him go, and leave with empty hands. Evidently, you did not know this man very well before you got married. I have told single women who are eager to get married to take their time, and not to be in a hurry to get married or to have children.

If it is not the Will of God to get married and to have children, you may regret doing so. I say without apology, kick this man out of your house. He is an embarrassment to you. Do so right away.

Pastor