Babyfather always walks around naked

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you for your advice. I am 24 and I am living with my child's father. The child is two years old. I am always telling my babyfather that he should not walk around the apartment naked.

Our child is very intelligent. Twice I saw her pulling her father's penis while he was sleeping. I covered him up and I told him what was happening and he said I was making a fuss over nothing because the child didn't even know what she was doing. I told him he shouldn't be naked unless he is in our bedroom and the door is locked.

He said his father was always naked or in his brief when he was a child. But he is just naked. I talked to a counsellor about it and she said that it must be something why the child was playing with his penis. She has never seen me do that. Whenever we are having our time together, I make sure that the bedroom is closed. The most she has ever seen us do is kiss and nothing else.

I told this man that I will leave him if he does not change, but I do not want to break up with him; he is a good man but very stubborn. I am not always in my underwear even when we are alone in our apartment. I told our daughter that she should not play with her father's penis and he said he thought that I was fooling around with him and he was dreaming.

I would like to get your advice on what to do.

D.E.

Dear D.E.,

Your child's father is very careless. Your daughter is two years old. I am sure that she knew that she was playing with his penis.

She was not playing with his ears or his nose; she knew that his penis is the private part of his body. He said that he thought that he was dreaming and that you were the one touching him.

You have to insist that he wears underpants or brief when he is at home. He thinks that you are too fussy and that nothing is wrong if his daughter sees him naked. What he does not know is that your daughter will always remember that that is how he carries himself in the house. Why was she playing with his penis? You said that she has never seen you doing so. Are you sure she has never seen you engage in masturbating him? Perhaps she saw her father masturbating himself and she believes that it was natural for her to play with him. I do not know. Whether so or not, your boyfriend should use common sense and carry himself appropriately while he is at the house.

Before I go, I would like to say that some people do not wear many clothes when they are in their own home. Some women only wear underwear and their daughters see them like that and to them, that's the norm.

I remember a dear lady told me that she had a son who lived with her and she used to parade herself in the house in just her underwear. When she went to the bathroom for a shower, she walked to her bedroom in the nude while her son was just sitting there. Her son and her had some sort of contention one day and he slapped her. I told her that the boy had no respect for her because she did not put any boundary between herself and her grown son. He should not have been seeing her naked and she was not ill and desired his help. She disagreed with me, but to this day, that's the way I see it. Your child's father, although she is two years old, should not be seeing her father naked all the time. Others may disagree with me but that's how I see it.

Pastor