My wife nags me day and night

Dear Pastor,

I am a 30-year-old man and I have been married for five years. My wife is very beautiful. I have a good job, and she has a fairly good job, too. I am a businessman.

My wife works with the government. She can be very nagging. Because of my business, I do not turn off my cellular phone. The only time it is off is when my wife and I are in bed and I do not want to be disturbed. But as soon as we have our time together, I will turn on my phone. As soon as I turn my phone on, she starts to fuss, telling me that I don't have any respect for her, and it seems as if my phone is giving me pleasure. She is just disgusting.

If I don't answer my phone, I will have to employ someone to take all my calls. When I was a single man, I was happier. I didn't have anybody to nag me. When we started to date, I told her my situation and she said that she understood everything. But now, whenever the phone rings, she says it is "One of your women calling you." I tell her, "Please answer her for me." Sometimes women are calling me, but it is strictly business. Sometimes to keep her quiet, I tell her that I have to go somewhere and I ask her to come with me, and she is not willing to come.

I go out often with women; I take them for lunch. I have made good deals with both men and women over lunch. I don't hide, and if people tell my wife that they saw, hell would let loose after that. So these are the reasons why I am saying that I was happier as a single man. I have never touched another woman since I am married. I cannot take the nagging. Day and night I have to go through this. She said that she cannot trust any man. I told her that she should not have married me.

My parents were divorced and I saw how it affected my mother. After years of being divorced, my mother used to cry and say, "I miss your father, especially around Christmas time." One Christmas Eve, I called my father and asked him to come and see my mother on Christmas Day. I told my mother that he was coming. She was all dressed up, but it was the worst thing I did because when my father came, she kissed him, and as children we watched. When my father wanted to leave, my mother started to cry and she begged him to stay a little longer, but he told her he had to go home. I told my wife it was like she was going to nag me until I walk away from her.

I want you to try and tell me what to do.

B.L.

Dear B.L.,

It is said that married people live longer than unmarried people. Married people fret less, they are supposed to be more comfortable, they do not stress themselves over everyday life, they share their bills with their partners, and they save more.

However, in recent times, unmarried men seem to save more than married men. In recent times, unmarried men seem to prefer to live alone. Some of them were divorced.

If your wife does not trust any man, she should not have married you. Before you got married, you explained your situation. If you were cheating on her you would not have your phone open. Many women fuss when their men turn off their cell phones, or rush to answer them when it rings. Your wife is making too much fuss over simple things, and the best way to deal with the situation is not to respond when she accuses you of having women calling you at nights.

You have to live with your conscience, and if your conscience is clear, don't be concerned over what your wife says.

Pastor