Men have scarred me for life

Dear A.,

As I read your letter, I asked myself why you did not report the sexual abuse that you suffered from your cousin when you were a child. This was not a one-time issue.

You said you were abused on "multiple occasions" and when you sought refuge at a friend's home and got raped, did you not report the matter?

I regret hearing what you have gone through as a young girl. The man you trusted evidently passed on the sexual infection to you, and that has caused you not to trust men. You probably felt safe having sexual intercourse with him, and wanted him to impregnate you. Perhaps you thought that having a child would ease your pain. I am so glad that you did not get pregnant because you were not ready for a child. Even at this stage, you are not ready emotionally and psychologically.

I thank you for trusting me and for telling me your story and I shall never divulge your name, not even to anyone who may offer you help. So many times when letters like yours are made public, I receive requests from men who say they are willing to help the writers. But over the years, I have learned not to trust any of these men because they will add more sorrow to the writers.

I know that you need therapy and I am quite willing to refer you to a psychologist who would see you for free because I know that you are in no position financially to pay for this service. In the meantime, I will be praying for you. I know that God is able to give you peace of mind. I pray also that you may get a permanent job. You should also consider going back to school. I will talk to you about that another time.

Pastor