It was a mistake to marry this woman

Dear Pastor,

Pastor, I am 29 and I am a Christian. I am planning to get married to a woman who has six children. Some people think that I am crazy, but I met her four years ago when I came into Kingston to work and I didn't have anybody to stay with. She offered me a room at her house and that is how our friendship started.

There were times when I didn't even have money to take care of myself. She bought me my first pair of pants and she fed me. She gave me Sunday dinner and took care of me. I had a girlfriend in the country and she came up to visit me and this woman was very upset because my girlfriend and I slept together. When my girlfriend left, she told me that my girlfriend should not come back to visit me because she was taking me over. This woman and I started to sleep together. When my girlfriend wanted to come back, I lied that I wasn't feeling well so I went to the country to see her instead.

This woman did not behave as a landlady, she behaved as a wife. She cleaned, she washed and she cooked. Then one day she told me she got a vision and she was going to church. I told her that I would go with her. She got another vision and it was 'revealed' that we should get married. I agreed to marry her and to give up my girlfriend in the country. But, from the very first time we started having sex, she said I was too small. But if she sees me talking to any girl, she wants to make a big argument. I cannot even speak to the girls in the church. I think I have made a big mistake by marrying this woman. I don't know what to do.

L.

Dear L.,

This woman who is now your wife had her eyes on you from the moment she saw you and agreed to rent you a room. She did not see you as a tenant but as a prospective lover.

She is a woman who is experienced. She knew that you needed the help so she offered you the room and, right away, she started to take care of you. You were glad for her help. She cooked, cleaned and washed for you and, when your girlfriend came up to spend the weekend, she was very annoyed. Jealously took over her and that is why she told you that your girlfriend should not come back because she was now in charge.

I believed that this woman tricked you by telling you that she got a vision and she wanted to attend church. She is a liar but you were too naive to realise that she put plans in place to trap you. Now your eyes are open but it is almost too late, you are already married to her. She is not satisfied with your sexual performance. She is telling you now that your penis is too small. I hope that she does not mean that you should try to get your penis enlarged. I suggest that you ask this woman to go with you to a family counsellor. She is much older than you and you are very unhappy with her.

I can only say that she tricked you into marrying her and this relationship is in big trouble. If this woman doesn't want to go to a counsellor, you should go alone and allow the counsellor to call her while you are there.

Pastor